I guess funny people are attracted to funny people, and then you get comedy marriages.

I went to drama school at NYU for serious acting. So I was doing Chekov and Sam Shepard plays.

It's always great to get to do what you love and to do something that hopefully people will see and love.

Life is the one thing you cannot get out of alive.

Is it normal to make a minute-to-minute schedule for the timing of thanksgiving? I'm asking for a friend.

To clarify, the issue isn’t that I’m too fat, it’s that I’m too phat. Can I get a WHAT-WHAT!

I have never turned to my girlfriend and said, Oh, okay, babe, and I see it in scripts all the time.

At my wedding, I was dancing so furiously that I fell hard on my kneecaps. The next morning, my knees were so swollen that I had to get a wheelchair at the airport to go on my honeymoon.

Pageants are already ridiculous and sad, I think.

What I think is funny is when people, despite tragic situations, are still hopeful, still trying. It's sweet and sad - and, to me, hilarious.

I want you. I want you under me and over me and around me. And you want.

I gave up a lot of things in exchange for my success.

Any real Bob Dylan fan would sleep with Jonah Lehrer.

The most important thing for any of us to be in our jobs is curious.

Straw purchasing is illegal.

I want to be the greatest actor that ever lived, frankly. I'd love that. But I don't need to be. I just want to be here. That's it.

What teenagers are ready to laugh at is the misery of other people.

Once you accept defeat, it becomes ease to lose. If defeat comes, face it and take it, but don't accept it.

There are two things that men should never weary of, goodness and humility; we get none too much of them in this rough world among cold, proud people.

I don't know how a judge can concentrate on being fair and impartial when he or she is faced with possible jail time for making a decision that others deem incorrect.