I guess sometimes the truth just isn't worth believing... Personally, I've always felt that life's too short for truth. I'm just here to be entertained.

The trouble with believing conspiracies is you start seeing them everywhere, right? And everything becomes a part of them. But, of course, the trouble with not believing them is becoming a dupe.

HECKLER: Say something funny!COMEDIAN: I don't do requests.

Explanations are for cowards.

Anybody can make history

When we declare war for peace, we may win the war and lose the battle.

The right to know is the right to live.

Despite all the pressure and the caliber of accomplishment, I still can honestly say that it's not all about winning.

I don't know how to write jokes from the point of view of a six-foot-two guy. So, I'll always talk about it, but I just don't want it to be the absolute focus of all of my act.

Suddenly in the end when it's over, you feel a big weight on your shoulders. That's the role of the captain. Unfortunately, it's sometimes like that in sport.

Governments are run by people. People can be bad.

If you put on an Oscar Wilde [play], it will interest those who are interested in Oscar Wilde. But it won't interest anybody else, because they won't get that wit.

Use the Light that dwells within you to regain your natural clarity of sight.

The whole idea of compassion is based on a keen awareness of the interdependence of all these living beings, which are all part of one another, and all involved in one another.