I guess telling stories is an art. I never looked at it that way. I just started talking, and everyone started laughing. So I kept talking, and they kept laughing.

You know you're big when you sit in the bathtub and the water in the toilet rises.

I don't eat vegetables. I only eat food like cheeseburgers, Spam, hot dogs and pizza.

We didn't have steroids. If I wanted to get pumped up, I drank a case of beer.

I have no ax to grind. I was lucky. I played. How many guys play high school, college football never play pro football?

The two saddest moments of my life were when my mother died and when I was told I couldn't play football for the Colts anymore.

He runs like a camel. A really pissed off camel.

I'm a light eater. As soon as it's light, I start to eat.

Well the frog men finally got Rosie.

The only weight I ever lifted weighed 24 ounces. It was a Schlitz. I always replaced my fluids.

I went to college to play football, not to study it.

There are two things that interest me: the relation of people to each other, and the relation of people to land.

What we were trying to do differently was this sort of layered sound.

If you don't want to do something,don't impose on others

I often get myself in love trouble because I'm so passionate; I love so much and so deep.

Whether I'm at the hangar or at the airport or on an airplane, I get respect. And that's the best part of my day.

I learn to pity woes so like my own.

The inspired Scriptures make the clear distinction between false and true riches and make plain the reason why happiness is gained and fully enjoyed only by those who find true riches.

He who follows another will never overtake him

We can make fun of hockey fans, but someone who enjoys Homer is indulging the same kind of vicarious bloodlust.

Don't get me wrong - I've gone to a club. But I'd much rather be with my close friends at home or a concert, or on a trip. I'll go dancing with my grandma. She likes to cut a rug!