I had a choice. My instincts told me to hurry up and give the choking man the Heimlich maneuver. My brain told me to stay still until he expired and chalk this one up to divine intervention.

I figured I only had about two seconds to live. It’s amazing how many thoughts you can have in two seconds.

I shrieked like a little girl, which, if you think about it, makes total sense.

This was a true pants-pooping moment.

She looked mean, but I think that was her natural resting face.

I had read once that dumb people didn't know they were dumb. They thought they were just as smart as anybody else. That was a very unsettling thought. What if I was really dumb and didn't know it?

Do not go where you don’t belong. I scoffed. That sounded like an invitation if I ever heard one.

A stealthy ninja monkey she was not.

That was when things got weird. You may have thought things were weird already, but this was uber-weird

After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.

The market is perfectly well supplied at the moment but spare capacity is very limited.

Rather than listening to music while you paint, listen to the sort of wisdom that can help grow your career.

Only death reveals what a nothing the body of man is.

Rawness and refinement are not opposite ends of a luxurious spectrum they are two complementary features with which to populate a luxe environment.

How you shape your attitude is not a small part of how you shape your life...it is the only part.

Cats don't need to be possessed; they're evil on their own.

This is just strictly me wanting to make a record that is the real deal. It is all the stuff that I have learned and know that I remember. It's what I perceive as country music is about.

I'm more into kind of real stories, psychological movies.

Two rules: 1. Preserve the principal 2. When in doubt, see Rule #1.