I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.

You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.

Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser!

To you, I'm an atheist.To God, I'm the loyal opposition.

God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.

Standup comedy is fun. I mean other than having to experience the excruciating lonlieness and unacknowledged sadness that results in funny.

That's one of the great things about DVD: In addition to reaching people who didn't catch the movie in theaters, you get to have this interaction of sorts.

I love reform better than its modes.

There is no virtue inherent in un-constructive suffering.

I looked around the iTunes store and came across Dr. Moku's Hiragana Mnemonics. Thirty minutes later I had memorized all 46 hiragana. Now my 9-year-old is learning them, and having a lot of fun.

Working hard becomes a habit, a serious kind of fun. You get self-satisfaction from pushing your self to the limit, knowing that all the effort is going to pay off.

My anarchism is frankly anarcho-communalism, and it's eco-anarchism as well. And it's not oriented toward the proletariat.

We want to enable Start-Ups and make India no 1 in this field. Start-Up India and Stand-Up India!

Never try to help God fulfill His word.

Mondays are just like Sam from Clarissa Explains it All. They just show up through the damn window whenever the hell they feel like it.