I had a very happy childhood, happy teenage years and I was famous by the time I was 22. A charmed life.

I don't have moments of weakness. I'm Rik Mayall.

I was in a coma for five days - I was dead longer than Jesus before he was raised from the dead.

I was brought up to be a good boy and proud of myself so I suppress all the things about me that are bad.

Other people get moody in their forties and fifties - men get the male menopause. I missed the whole thing. I was just really happy.

I live on the limit, Vyvyan. The limit, because I'm a rider at the gates of dawn and I take no prisoners!

On stage you can group 200 people together and scare them or embarrass them or whatever. You can't do that on TV. You have to use the conventions, that's why Kevin (Turvey) works so well.

If there was no Cosmic Ordering then it would have been necessary to invent it.

No second chances in the land of a thousand dances, the valley of ten million insanities.

Any man may be in good spirits and good temper when he's well dressed. There ain't much credit in that.

3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 9 is the next prime after 8.

Truths and roses have thorns about them.

It is those very things that we are most afraid to do that provide the greatest liberation and growth for us.

The truth is very few of us are related to Napoleon or Cleopatra. Although, those are bad examples as I am actually descended from both of them.

The only difference between reality and fiction is that fiction needs to be credible.

The bible is a remarkable fountain: the more one draws and drinks of it, the more it stimulates thirst.

Baptism is the initial step of a faithful heart.