I had moved out of the Edison Hotel because I couldn't pay the bill and was living at the Lincoln Hotel, where I couldn't pay the bill either, but it was cheaper.

You want to fall in love with a shoe, go ahead. A shoe can't love you back, but, on the other hand, a shoe can't hurt you too deeply either. And there are so many nice-looking shoes.

Adultery - which is the only grounds for divorce in New York - is not grounds for divorce in California. As a matter of fact, adultery in Southern California is grounds for marriage.

Success is like winning the sweepstakes or getting killed in an automobile crash. It always happens to somebody else.

Do not make a stingy sandwich; pile the cold cuts high; so you should see salami coming through the rye.

The head coach don't want no sissies, so he reads to us from something called Ulysses.

A committee is a group of individuals who all put in a perfectly good color, and it comes out gray.

The difference between reality and unreality is that reality has so little to recommend it.

Grandma cheated whenever she could. She cheated because it was a much more scientific and surer way of winning than trusting to luck.

A "Normal" person is the sort of person that might be designed by a committee. You know, "Each person puts in a pretty color and it comes out gray."

Love is lovelier the 7th time around.

There isn't time, so brief is life, for bickerings, apologies, heartburnings, callings to account. There is only time for loving, and but an instant, so to speak, for that.

I have to convince myself every night that I love you before I go to sleep lest I wake up empty.

Do what gives you joy and you will enjoy what you do.

All of our unhappiness comes from our inability to be alone.

Faith isn't knowledge, Rachel. Faith is a tool. Faith keeps us going until we get the knowledge. Faith keeps us striving until we reach the consequences of our most important decisions.

Never allow a child to spend all of his allowance. Insist that he set aside a certain amount of money every week and put it in a safe place, where you can get it if you need to buy beer.

The goal in the end is not to win elections. The goal is to change society.

Rock is very, very important and very, very ridiculous.

No man can perform so little as not to have reason to congratulate himself on his merits, when he beholds the multitude that live in total idleness, and have never yet endeavoured to be useful.

Ultimately you should follow advice not because someone tells you to, but because it was something that you already knew you should be doing.