I had my coat hangers spayed.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

For the powerful, crimes are those that others commit.

Fear is absolutely nothing without its repeated acceptance in one's mind.

Laughing is the best calorie burner.

The same spiritual fulfillment that people find in religion can be found in science by coming to know, if you will, the mind of God.

When we connect to the infinite source of wisdom within, creative new ideas, opportunities, and healing spontaneously unfold.

The more I see of men, the better I like my dog.

I equate Deadheads to people that like black licorice. There aren't many people that like black licorice, but the ones that do, REALLY REALLY like it! Or buttermilk, or whatever.

I've never, ever had people being aggressive to me in public or abusing me, and actually quite a lot of men do say to me, 'You're quite good' - though they can't bear to go, 'You're great.'

Be careful to trust a person who does not like wine.

We don't say nothing more. What else is there to say? Everything and nothing. You can't say everything, so you don't say nothing.