I had my moments of being humiliated, and then I had moments of doing something humiliating. I'm glad I lived out both roles.

I sing seriously to my mom on the phone. To put her to sleep, I have to sing 'Maria' from West Side Story. When I hear her snoring, I hang up.

I immediately said yes for one reason and one reason only....Netflix rhymes with Wet Chicks.

Chemistry can be a good and bad thing. Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it.

Hanukkah is...the festival of lights, instead of one day of presents, we get eight crazy nights

Alright, remember, alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you.

It's hard to soar with the eagles when you're surrounded by turkeys.

On this lovely, lovely Hanukkah, drink your gin and tonica.

Feels good to try, but playing a father, I'm getting a little older. I see now that I'm taking it more serious and I do want that lifestyle.

Of course, I peed my pants, everyone my age pees their pants. It's the coolest.

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink, put you to bed when youve had too much to drink. Oh, it could be so nice to grow old with you, I wanna grow old with you.

the mind is strong. It survives, even without thought. Even with everything taken away, it holds a seed--your self. You must believe in your own powers.

I firmly believe that if you pray long enough, if you wish hard enough, God will grant you at least one wish in your lifetime.

Is imagination dependent upon experience, or is experience influenced by imagination?

I do not have any home. So why should I be homesick?

Technology evolves faster than people do, faster than biology does.

I think the most beautiful inventions are the ones you don't think of.

The physician is only nature's assistant.

With the Eucharist, therefore, heaven comes down to earth, the tomorrow of God descends into the present and it is as if time remains embraced by divine eternity.

The big trouble is not really who isn't in the Hall of Fame, but who is. It was established for a select few.

You can make even a parrot into a learned political economist - all he must learn are the two words "supply" and "demand."