I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

You know you're ugly when you go to the proctologist and he sticks his finger in your mouth.

When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.

Perhaps Zeus was king, but I was Spartan, a princess twice over, and queen of Athens besides. I knew my duty. And I would rule my own fate.

When you make a world tolerable for yourself, you make a world tolerable for others.

I love it when they doubt me and I can prove them wrong. I proved them wrong against Peterson. I did it again against Acosta. I did it with Antillon and I did it with Alvarado. So I'll be ready.

It is a tragedy that religion for us means, today, nothing more than restrictions on food and drink, nothing more than adherence to absence of superiority and inferiority.

We're democratizing the tools of creativity.

The reason they want you to fit in... is that once you do, then they can ignore you.

Young people voted [on Brexit] to remain by a considerable margin, but were outvoted. They were voting for their future, yet it has been taken from them.

Remember, Monsieur, that Saint Augustine says that a person who does not obey the doctors is doing his best to kill himself.

Modesty isn't always a virtue; it can be a hindrance; a careful measure of personal pride builds confidence and ensures success.

I like Hemingway and I like a lot Jewish writers (such as) Saul Bellow.