I had several different bosses during the early years of 'Dilbert.' They were all pretty sure I was mocking someone else.

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?

Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.

If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake!

The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about the

Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.

You don't have to be a 'person of influence' to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.

Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.

Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt.

Civilization is always threatened from below, by patterns of belief and emotion that may once have been useful to our ancestors, but that are useful no longer.

Writing is like talking to yourself, just in a way that makes it look like you're not crazy!

A grateful person is rich in contentment.

Can we please rename The Sandy Relief Bill to the Supplemental Iraq War Funding Bill so the GOP Congress can vote for it?

I've never done so much bloody crying in my life. I was always moaning about how hard it was when we were shooting, how awful I felt.

Community doesn't just create abundance - community is abundance. If we could learn that equation from the world of nature, the human world might be transformed.

Friends are honest with each other. Even if the truth hurts. -Maggie

The ultimate promise of technology is to make us master of a world that we command by the push of a button.

I love the intellectual type. They know everything and suspect nothing.