I hate all jobs. I've never had a job I liked.

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Think before you speak. Read before you think.

My favorite animal is steak.

The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.

A hobby is, of course, an abomination, as are all consuming interests and passions that do not lead directly to large, personal gain.

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.

There are two modes of transport in Los Angeles: car and ambulance. Visitors who wish to remain inconspicuous are advised to choose the latter

I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

It is not where we are that matters nor what we have, it is what we do with where we are and what we have.

We are inside soft, sweet and pure white despair.

Do you want a world with . . . more joy and happiness? Then find your own joy and happiness and contribute to the joy and happiness of others.

The men who have done big things are those who were not afraid to attempt big things, who were not afraid to risk failure in order to gain success.

Music is what I must do, business is what I need to do and politics is what I have to do

Socialism and federalism are necessarily political opposites, because the former demands that centralized concentration of power which the latter by definition denies.

I find it very hard to say yes or no quite openly, because people are never satisfied. One day they write us off as saying we're not together and the next day we're together and getting married.

Was that suit made to order? Where were you at the time?

In the Bible the ignorant may learn all requisite knowledge, and the most knowing may learn to discern their ignorance.

Discipline your mind to think positively; to see the good in every situation and look on the best side of every event.