I hate all sidekicks.

The idea of, 'The journey is the destination' is put into action by browsing in an indie record store. Besides, a human being is a much better guide than a 'More Like This' link on the internet.

So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, 'The good outnumber you, and we always will.'

If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40 gold coins.

I want to experience as many different tastes, sights, emotions, conflicts, and cultures as possible, so that I can expand the canvas of my memory and enrich my comedy.

Is it bad when you refer to all alcohol as "Pain Go Bye-Bye Juice"?

I fantasize and idealize myself as Bugs Bunny, but I know deep down I'm Daffy Duck.

You have to be ruthless with yourself, in terms of being honest about what is working and what is not.

Meal isn't over when I'm full. Meal's over when I hate myself.

I identify myself as a stand-up first. Even though lately there's been an explosion of acting on my schedule.

Cheap liquor is a magic potion that can turn you into a puppet cowboy before it kills you.

Desperation is like stealing from the Mafia: you stand a good chance of attracting the wrong attention.

Everyone has a different route to success, recognition, and peace. Don't be afraid to move instinctually.

It was hard to figure out what were the good causes, the bad causes, even the good politics and the bad politics. So we started taking requests and figuring it out.

We have now to fight for peace with the same courage and deter-mination as we fought against aggression.

I must use these great men's virtues as a cloak for my weakness.

I don't know what's going to happen to me tomorrow. That's why I don't save my best for last.

I think empathy's a terrible danger for a writer.

That Jesus of Nazareth died upon a cross is mere matter of history; that He who did so die was the Christ the Son of God is entirely a matter of revelation.

It is not the particular man in power that I oppose, but the power itself, which is unjust.