I hate bumper stickers, you can't sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner.

I love doing stuff with Todd Barry and Jon Benjamin. We give the stage to good bands and funny people.

Occasionally I'll watch Fox News for as long as I can tolerate it, or CNN. I'll watch until I get infuriated, but you got to know what they're talking about and what they're not talking about.

I like pot, I enjoy pot, I like to smoke it. But, the one thing I don't like about pot is the subculture it's spawned. I think it's embarrassing and really juvenile and uncreative

You cannot win a War on Terrorism. It's like having a war on jealousy.

Sketches have characters, exits, entrances and are vastly different.

We should just get somebody from the left and the right and they should all throw bumper stickers at each other and the first one to cover the other one wins.

The Bible is the funniest book I have ever read. It's so funny! Right in the first six pages, it's funny!

The South has more of a disproportionate amount of irony on T-shirts than any other region in the country.

I went to a bunch of marches in New York and Washington, and you know I believe in the cause, but to march with those people takes a lot of compromise on my end.

You have to have some level of attachment, you can still have passion and believe but it has to be softened somewhat.

He nods, as if to acknowledge that endings are almost always a little sad, even when there is something to look forward to on the other side.

I do not believe that a dog can be cured by a psychiatrist, but I think some owners could be helped by one.

The day I need a television puppet or clown to tell my children what's right and what's wrong, I'll bow out as a mother.

We seem to be committing ourselves to an eye wateringly expensive railroad for the few. High speed rail plan is madness.

My father, an architectural photographer, was an incurable tinkerer, maker and mender.

I'm friends with Hank Azaria. We were on a show together 800 years ago, and we laugh every single time.

There is something in the decay of nature that awakens thought, even in the most trifling mind.

This is a good day to die. Follow me!

I don't need the recognition and I did not expect it.

The only way to learn to write is to force yourself to produce a certain number of words on a regular basis.