I hate sports the way people who like sports hate common sense.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

The ides of March are come.

Men live by intervals of reason under the sovereignty of humor and passion.

When you run the marathon, you run against the distance, not against the other runners and not against the time.

I thought I had to live that partying lifestyle in order to be authentic, but in fact if you keep it up too long, all you're going to be is sloppy or dead.

If you wish to know the truth about your business or your profession, know that it is an activity of good. It is an activity of your partnership with the infinite.

He had always loved God. In his darkest hours he cried out, "God did not create us to abandon us.

The Westgate Landfill is zoned for residential use. It's near a planned village. The Navy has a capping plan for the site, but it's not consistent with residential use for the site.

I made my new album 'Colour Me Free!' in a week with my own money.

I try to think of something catchy to say, but there's nothing but irritation that something that was funny yo an eleven-year-old boy is still funny to a seventeen-year-old one.

Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.