I hate to say it, but I had a great time in World War II.

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.

Being kind is more important than being right.

I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran.

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.

Everyone starts out being an atheist. No one is born with belief in anything. Infants are atheists until they are indoctrinated.

People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.

Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

The most confused you will ever get is when you try to convince your heart and spirit of something your mind knows is a lie.

There you go. Perfect. And can you still throw up at will like you could in sixth grade? That would be good.

The only reason you should be in college is to destroy it.

I invite people to examine their lives without negativity, knowing that it's scary, but that not doing it is even scarier.

Tonight I'm stepping lightly and I'm feeling no pain.

And what is the greatest number? Number one.

I'd rather have people really be able to step back and get their money's worth and look at me as a true artist than somebody who is just regurgitating other material.

Let us avoid debt as we would avoid a plague; where we are now in debt, let us get out of debt; if not today...tomorrow.

Sportsmanship... what a load of crap, don't preach your morality to me. Steve Austin doesn't have any mercy... you want mercy? Take your *ss to church!