I hated my work. It never seemed to me to be what I should be doing.

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?

Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.

If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake!

The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about the

Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.

You don't have to be a 'person of influence' to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.

Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.

Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt.

Remember thee? Ay, thou poor ghost, while memory holds a seatin this distracted globe. Remember thee?

Conversations consist for the most part of things one does not say.

Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work so most people don't recognize them.

Falsehood is never in words; it is in things.

In order to comprehend the beauty of a Japanese garden, it is necessary to understand - or at least to learn to understand - the beauty of stone.

There is something about a martini, Ere the dining and dancing begin, And to tell you the truth, It is not the vermouth- I think that perhaps it's the gin.

It is a good thing I no longer have a heart, because if I did, it would surely break.

Situation comedy on television has thrived for years on 'canned' laughter, grafted by gaglines by technicians using records of guffawing audiences that have been dead for years.

Some of those more out-there jokes were written in the wee hours of the morning. Somehow, they remained funny the next day.

I did some writing. I was just taking the kids to school. I did a couple things and we did some tours. It was a lot of downtime.