I hated skiing or any other sport where there was an ambulance waiting at the bottom of the hill.

Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.

In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.

Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead.

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.

Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.

Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

You don't need to be so fierce and bluffing..if you already know that I can't be intimidated.

We judge ourselves by our intentions

Excellence in any pursuit is the late ripe fruit of toil.

Respect for ourselves guides our morals, respect for others guides our manners.

You can always tell folks from nonfolks. Folks like to feel good, like to smile for the camera when there's a big photo opportunity for a really good cause.

A frame is the foundation from which everything evolves.

Does not the discipline of the scientific spirit just commence when one no longer harbours any conviction?

We don't care. We don't have to. We're the phone company.

If I'm going to have something rich and yummy, I'm not reaching for prepackaged brownies. I'm going to make a pie from scratch.

Nothing else, perhaps, distinguishes effective executives as much as their tender loving care of time.