I have a brother who is afraid to go to sleep, he dreams he's working.

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.

Laughter is an instant vacation.

Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.

The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.

Laughter is the best medicine in the world.

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases.

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

If we only fell in love with people who were perfect for us...then there wouldn't be so much fuss about love in the first place.

The sound a box of Lego makes is the noise of a child's mind working, looking for the right piece. Shake it, and it's almost creativity in aural form.

The love of God is the first love.

I'm always looking for good music.

I took a drink. "I guess it's different for you.""Hmm?" "I bet you have girls hanging all over you. Dozens would probably kill to be in my spot and here I am, allergic to your bread.

If I stop pushing you, if I stop demanding of you, if I stop getting on you, then I probably don't think you have much to offer.

I am continually embarrassed by people who point me out as an example of what can be done without training.

For me, it's either you're part of creation or you're part of destruction. It's inexplicable; it's like breathing, and I can't imagine not doing it.

And while everybody was busy laughing, what was I doing? I was laying the foundation to what I have in place now.

For God's sake, keep your eyes open. Notice what's going on around you.