I have a fax machine with "fax waiting".

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

What man would have courage enough to believe he could win you? Bosque laughed. "You exude power. Men are small creatures, easily cowed by those who challenge their sense of self-importance.

You want a partnership? I've heard a lot about partnerships. Sure. I'll partner with you. You do all the work and I'll take 80%.

I've been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I've lost a total of 789 pounds. By all accounts I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.

All rational beings have an agency of their own; and according to their own choice they will be saved or damned.

One has not the right to betray even a traitor. Traitors must be fought, got betrayed.

Don't stink up the place with bad acting, if an opportunity comes your way.

Evil resides in the very gaze which perceives Evil all around itself.

I once stayed in a roach-infested hotel in Istanbul for a work trip. I had to share my room with a male model, and pointedly all we talked about was our other halves.

The state of the world calls out for poetry to save it.

I will not move my army without onions.