I have a lot of funny friends, though not everyone's funny all the time. Doon Mackichan's my funniest friend in the pub; Nina Conti's the funniest with a monkey.

All I want to do really is get married and be a matriarch.

A Local Government Stationery Store is something to behold. It's like walking through the back of a cupboard into a really dull Narnia.

I always carry a pair of scissors around with me to cut things out of magazines.

I would love to have been around in the Keystone Studios days.

I wasn't hugely popular at school. In fact, I was bullied at school.

When I'm a brunette, it's four times harder to hail a taxi. Then I go blonde again, and suddenly there are taxis everywhere.

I'm sorry to say I'm very lizard-like. My skin is dry, so covering my face in greasy antioxidants is a better alternative.

If you get 10,000 guys to put their ideal woman into a computer, it still comes out looking like Angelina Jolie.

I can make a virtue of slapdash. Slapdash can give you courage.

I definitely used to write a lot at school. Comic poetry and drawings about people.

My tomb shall be in a spot where the north wind may scatter roses over it.

He never contributed a damn thing to music. (on Elvis Presley)

Being broke is a very efficient educational agency.

There's not another drug in life that I'm glad I took but grass.

Inspirational Psychology brings peace and choice to life even in the most difficult of situations.

Work really hard, think carefuly about how you spend every penny, and be absolutely true to your own vision of your clothes and your brand. It has to be personal.

There are so many different types of writers. It's just sheer coincidence that they're all called writers.

The body is a cell state in which every cell is a citizen. Disease is merely the conflict of the citizens of the state brought about by the action of external forces.

Faithfulness to the moment and to the present circumstance entails continuous surrender.

People say the truth hurts. Hell no, it hurts even more if you do a whole bunch of foolishness to try and avoid it.