I have a position of indirect respect and oblique power.

When I did Comic Relief, I did it to be on the show; it's a badge of honor as a comedian to do that show.

Even when people are rich and successful on TV shows, there's always some trouble - you have to poke holes in them, throw them out of a job, put a pie in the face.

Learn how to set goals. That's the key to everything. That includes designing your own success. You define what the goal is, it's not somebody else's goal, it's yours.

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.

I'm a big believer in overcoming and achieving and doing things and not feeling sorry for yourself.

I love the normalcy of Cleveland. There's regular people there.

There's no way I can justify my salary level, but I'm learning to live with it.

You say tomato, I say bourbon and coke.

Things don't make me nearly as happy as talking and having a beer with my friends. And that's something everyone can do.

Liquor prohibition led to the rise of organized crime in America, and drug prohibition has led to the rise of the gang problems we have now.

First rule of spirituality - thou shall not believe in your own bullshit.

The perfect body protects its owner from disease, gives birth to amazing new people and stops your bones from falling out. The end.

Pride and self-hate belong inseparably together

It's much more interesting to embrace who you really are rather than waste energy pretending to be someone else.

I'm not a big fan of identity politics and sort of picking one thing and defining yourself with it.

I am the nice adversary, the guy that's going to ask the tough questions and is not going to be happy with the quick answer.

Where the most beautiful wild flowers grow, there mans spirit is fed and poets grow.

Dads, is it too bold to hope that our children might have some small portion of the feeling for us that the Divine Son felt for His Father?

Integrity in all things precedes all else. The open demonstration of integrity is essential.

My access to music when I was growing up was through pirate radio, you know, transistor radio under the pillow, listening to one more and then 'just one more' until your favourite track comes on.