I have a simple philosophy. Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

If YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY ABOUT ANYONE..COME SIT BY ME.

My specialty is detached malevolence.

I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.

I've always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development.

He sprang from the grass roots of the country clubs of America.

I can be President of the United States, or I can control Alice. I cannot possibly do both.

He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.

Never trust a man who combs his hair straight from his left armpit.

I'm the only topless octogenarian in Washington.

All I wanted was to share myself with him...in a love way, lust way, every kind of way.

Why is a Christmas tree better than a man? Because it stays up, has cute balls, and looks good with the lights on!

For I see not what there is desirable in publick esteeme, were I able to acquire & maintaine it. It would perhaps increase my acquaintance, the thing which I chiefly study to decline.

When it was time to meet a chimpanzee, I got very, very anxious because they have the strength of ten men, so I hear.

I'm basically an Upper West Side Jewish writer.

Renunciation - that is the great fact we all, individuals and classes, have to learn. In trying to avoid it we bring misery to ourselves and others.

I love European movies and I kind of grew up on European films.

In modern praxis lost positions are salvaged most often when the play is highly complicated with many sharp dynamic variations to be calculated.

We have to slow the rhythm of rush in our lives so that the best of who are can emerge.

Whatever you put aside to seek happiness, remember where you put it.