I have a sixth sense, but not the other five. If I wasn't making money, they'd put me away.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.

Live by this credo: have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations.

I personally believe that each of us was put here for a purpose -- to build not to destroy. If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God.

There are three signs of old age: loss of memory ... I forget the other two.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always

Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.

Old age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

I personally believe we were put here to build and not to destroy.

Today's comics use four-letter words as a shortcut to thinking. They're shooting for that big laugh and it becomes a panic thing, using four-letter words to shock people.

It's easy to attack and destroy an act of creation. It's a lot more difficult to perform one.

We can only get to God through God. Every other possible avenue is a dead-end before it even starts.

Think only of the past as its remembrance gives you pleasure

People need to realise what real happiness and success is, because success as an actor is fleeting. You can be up there one day and gone the next.

It is not at all simple to understand the simple.

It's silly to keep people alive who have a terrible disease.

Great Brahma from his mystic heaven groans, And all his priesthood moans.

The world embarrasses me, and I cannot dream that this watch exists and has no watchmaker.

I have come to understand that in order to effectively advance women's rights, we need to galvanize a global women's movement.