I have a theory that if you're famous more years than you're not famous, then you get a little nutty.

I think free speech is probably the coolest thing we have in this country, and again, you can label it hate speech and dismiss it, and then you're allowed to censor it.

After years of begging, I got my parents to get me a little Craig tape recorder, a reel to reel. Then I started recording voices, or recording Jonathan Winters off television and stuff like that.

If I only ran when nothing hurt, I would never run.

That's why modern corporate movie making has become so laborious that comedians are kind of kicked out by 50.

You know, sometimes you can't just take an armadillo, put it in the barn, light it on fire and expect it to make licorice.

It's almost like he's started to sound even more exotic the more people started doing him. I don't know why, but there's just something about Al Gore that makes me laugh.

A mom and dad found an S&M magazine under their 10-year-old son's bed, and the dad said, 'Well, we sure can't spank him.'

If she were a President, she'd be Babe-raham Lincoln!

Am I not turtley enough for the Turtle Club? Turtle! Turtle!

I know it's a cliche, but the whole family is just whacked. I mean, we're all out of our minds. They're the funniest, most eccentric bizarre people I've ever met, my siblings.

Pure is honourable.

But I was going to learn the hardest lesson in life: that those whoare closest to you, always betray you first.

I lived there [ in New York City] as an artist, but never as a Chinese artist.

Actors are always looking for ways to build a character.

[Wham!] totally changed my life. It would be very difficult to know how it changed me as a person; you'd have to ask other people that.

You never know till you try to reach them how accessible men are; but you must approach each man by the right door.

I admire many entrepreneurs. They bring energy, excitement, youthful enthusiasm. What they lack in process, they make up for in gumption.

Everything runs to excess; every good quality is noxious if unmixed.

My family had a lot of characteristics - achievements, ambitions, talents, expectations - that all seemed to be recessive in me.

I control every interaction with every human being I'm with. I can actually manage any situation with 98 percent of the people on Earth.