I have a varied taste, I'll listen to anything. Well, not anything, no techno.

I'm ugly, I'm overweight, but I'm happy

That means I can drive a flock of sheep through the town centre, drink for free in no less than 64 pubs and get a lift home with the police when I become inebriated. What more could you want?

Captaincy is something you get better at through experience. You've got to trust your instincts.

A lot of the lads have a bat for the nets, a bat for facing the bowling machine and a separate bat for the match. I'll just crack on with a bat until it breaks - then crack on with another one.

I'm not too good with packing. I always have every intention of doing it the week before and then leave it until the last moment - but at least I do it myself, I don't leave it to the missus.

It's far more daunting than bowling to Ricky Ponting or facing Shane Warne

There are times when I have felt the pressure, but at the moment I play cricket the only way I can.

When I have a day off, I will have a day off.

We have to take care of our own game. There's only one place we've got to stick up for ourselves and that's the pitch.

I'm not really someone who looks forward to the gym. But I realise it's something that I have to do to perform well on the pitch.

Those who glitter with the glory of the hummingbird meaning death

Comedy has to be done en clair. You can't blunt the edge of wit or the point of satire with obscurity. Try to imagine a famous witty saying that is not immediately clear.

So we can be filled with holes and loss and wide expanses of unhealed geography - and we can also be excited by life and in love and content at the exact same moment.

I mean you last as long as lies.

Mama stroked his dinger, Daddy got stinky finger.

For a person who lives in time, differences are the most important thing because they represent your existence.

I'm talkin' about us, the new slaves, the people who love fashion. I'm talking about us, you know? 'Cause I'm a slave to it. I love it.

I think life's turning into an omelet and people will just have to live with that.

I have never had an office that I work out of and work has become intertwined with my personal life.

The lack of joy in your life is due to your lack of mission.