I have a very good memory for scripts. I can watch a show I like once, then remember about 90% of the script. But ask me who was in it, and I wouldn't have a clue.

I don't mind not being cool; I wear a cardigan.

If you want something Scottish, go get yourself a kilt.

I went to China for a brief working visit, and I thought that Shanghai was interesting, but Beijing totally grabbed me.

I realised that to compare your insides with other people's outsides leads to unhappiness.

Christians, you and your churches don't get to be millionaires while other people have nothing at all. They're your bloody rules! Either stick to them or abandon the faith.

I have learnt that I am incapable of packing the right amount of clothing, probably because I start 10 minutes before I'm supposed to leave, and that I truly hate airports.

I find myself by default an atheist but fairly unhappily so. It would be bloody marvelous if there was a god.

I'm more pompous and self-assured and determined that if - you know - if the truth can be told so as to be understood, it will be believed.

My purist comedy friends accuse me of being a Jack of all trades and master of none.

If Pac-Man had affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in dark rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.

The grace of service is the spirit of belonging.

He took his misfortune like a man - he blamed it on his wife.

A garlic caress is stimulating. A garlic excess soporific.

Every time one person becomes peaceful in their own life, it changes the world.

Don't forget to vote.

I thought the Barbie doll would always be successful.

la ilaha il-Allah, wa Muhammadu... (There is no god but God and Muhammed [is His prophet

The best of all monopoly profits is a quiet life.

Of course we don't want the price of gasoline to go up, we want it to go down.

A fair day's wages for a fair day's work.