I have a wandering eye and a lazy eye so they cancel each other out. It's a push.

A lot of baby boomers are baby bongers.

Breaking News: Winds so strong in NYC The Statue of Liberty's gown just blew off!

I think the education system is great just the way it is. There's kids in my neighborhood in Los Angeles, seven years old, that can already speak fluent Spanish.

If people can't deal with their problems, they numb themselves a little bit.

I became a vegetarian after I became aware of factory farming and slaughterhouses and the torture and inhumane handling of all these animals.

Every homeless puppy and kitten was born to parents who weren't spayed or neutered. I'm proud to support PETA's work to prevent animal homelessness.

You don't have to swim faster than the shark, just faster than the person you're with.

I'm on a strict running program. I started yesterday. I've only missed one day so far.

Never wear a red t-shirt to Target. I enjoy helping people, but not every two minutes.

Don't play dead with a vulture. That's exactly what they want.

We should never argue with the devil about our sins, but we should speak about our sins only with Jesus.

It is no surprise that the first and always unwelcome message of male initiation rites is LIFE – IS – HARD.

Always think backwards before moving forwards

Polly had a gift for baking pies, and she poured her heart and soul into every one she made.

Everything you heard about me is true. . . . I am not a free marketer. . . . I believe in the heavy hand of government.

Since everybody is an individual, nobody can be you. You are unique. No one can tell you how to use your time. It is yours. Your life is your own. You mold it. You make it.

I felt different born into a family with two sisters who are blonde and blue-eyed, with me being the only brunette.

I don't live life to be remembered for anything.

Mrs Thicknesse and I agreed that a business of his own was probably the only solution for him because he was obviously unemployable.

I don't know what my friends do. Generally they become producers. That way they can stop writing!