I have a well-balanced show. It's 50/50 on men/women, and also African-American/white writers, it's the same thing. I have four African-American writers, and four non-African-American writers.

When life gives you lemons don't make lemonade, make pink lemonade. Be unique.

I noticed recently, in the last few shows I did, that I'm starting to get people - not a large group, but quite a few people - who come to see me because they love Curb Your Enthusiasm.

If you feel like there's something out there that you're supposed to be doing, if you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it.

I'm here today because I refused to be unhappy. I took a chance.

Don't bother me while I'm eating, or when I'm coming out of the crackhouse or something. Just let me get going.

And then also I think it's harder for women because comedy is so opposite of being ladylike.

Some government workers are dedicated and work hard, but most of them are just waiting to retire.

If you're passionate about your work, it makes the people around you want to be involved too.

I don't like the saying keep your friends close and enemies closer. I want my enemy on a different planet.

I don’t understand why people really get upset about something that doesn’t affect them at all.

Always ask the questions you want to, life is too short to know if you'll get a second chance to ask, and afterlife is probably too long to wonder what the answer may be.

Why must this be so mortifying? Oh, that's right. Because its my life.

You are never in love with anyone. You're only in love with your prejudiced and hopeful idea of that person.

What is beauty, but an extension of modesty?

American poetry is a mess. Long live American poetry.

Now that the day of reckoning has arrived, they cry socialism!

The very fact that the youthful soul feels insecure strengthens its active aspiration to master its insecurity.

If a woman were about to proceed to her execution, she would demand a little time to perfect her toilet.

It is in prison ... that one becomes a real revolutionary.

The years like great black oxen tread the world, and God, the herdsman goads them on behind, and I am broken by their passing feet.