I have admired W.C. Fields since the day he advanced upon Baby LeRoy with an ice pick. Any man who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad.

The first printed mention of bagels... is to be found in the Community Regulations of Kracow, Poland, for the year 1610 which stated that bagels would be given as a gift to any woman in childbirth.

We see things as we are, not as they are.

I learned that it is the weak who are cruel, and that gentleness is to be expected only from the strong.

What's green, hangs on a wall and whistles? [A Herring]

Money can't buy happiness, but neither can poverty.

The purpose of life is to matter, to be productive, to have it make a difference that you lived at all-using the talents that God has given you for the betterment of others.

The purpose of life is not to be happy, the purpose of life is to matter.

I sometimes think there is a dimension beyond the four of experience and Einstein: insight, that fifth dimension which promises to liberate us from bondage to the long, imperfect past

A conservative is one who admires radicals centuries after they're dead.

If at first you don't succeed, before you try again, stop to figure out what you did wrong.

The man that wars and judges others is eternally lost. The man that wars and judges himself is eternally found.

An introspective man who doesn’t keep a diary consigns himself to a special hell

Stop putting all your dirty laundry out in the open if you are not willing to be judged by them.

Experience is in the fingers and the head. The heart is inexperienced.

This is the artist, then, life's hungry man, the glutton of eternity, beauty's miser, glory's slave.

It's been a long time since I've had champagne.

That's enough, and I have a ministry as a neighbor as well. A ministry as a friend and a ministry as an aunt and a godmother, and family is very much in the circle of my vocation.

It is God alone who can subdue and govern the unruly wills of sinful men.

I prefer to be handcuffed at home. The idea of voice work to me is great fun, especially when it's a chance to do two different voices.

Our Christian hope is that we are going to live with Christ in a new earth, where there is not only no more death, but where life is what it was always meant to be.