I have all the emotions that everyone has; it just appears that I don't.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

Funerals, I had decided, are for the living.

The Foreign Office knows no secrets.

Stop worrying and start living.

Think you have a low opinion of government? You should see government's opinion of you!

Her lips said 'no', but her eyes said 'read my lips'.

The microscopes that magnified the tears, studied warts and all. Still life flows on.

I was always talking about peace and love, even when I was a kid. That's how I grew up in my family.

..because when we look up into the sky at night there will be no darkness, just the blazing light of billions and billions of stars, all falling.

Riches too increase, and the maddening craving for gold, So that men ever seek for more, that they may have the most.

Do not, do not, do not books for ever hammer at people like perpetual bells? When, between two books, silent sky appears: be glad