I have always been a huge admirer of my own work. I'm one of the funniest and most entertaining writers I know.

My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.

As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes.

I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit.

If you stand on a soapbox and trade rhetoric with a dictator you never win.

Hope for the Best. Expect the worst. Life is a play. We're unrehearsed.

Life literally abounds in comedy if you just look around you.

If presidents can't do it to their wives, they do it to their country.

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.

Humor is just another defense against the universe.

I don't know what to say so I'll just say what's in my heart...badoom, badoom, badoom.

Even the names of the books gave me food for thought.

I need my eulogy to look better than my resume. I'm living for that.

Magic is the fifth fundamental force and is even more mysterious than gravity, which is really saying something.

I cannot think of a more personally rewarding and appropriate use of wealth than to give while one is living.... Interventions have greater value and impact today than if they are delayed.

My misfortune is my ability to see both sides even of the fundamental religious question.

A definite forgiveness would mean a definite recognition of our strength.

You could take the Internet enthusiasm that was happening in 1999 and 2000 here in the U.S., and in China it was three-to-five times more ebullient.

The idea of reinvention has always seemed bizarre to me.

I'm always studying something or trying to learn something, keep myself creatively occupied, because I think that energy can get kind of destructive if it doesn't have somewhere to go.

Comedy has always been something I love, but for some reason - probably because of the British accent - I've always been pushed toward more period work.