I have always felt cookbooks were fiction and the most beautiful words in the English language were 'room service.

Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.

In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.

Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead.

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.

Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.

Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

Peace is a very powerful approach than war, choose peace when solving any problem in the world.

Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.

When you're reaching the end of the semester and you just wanna die. Coffin Making 101 is literally killing me.-Karen Quan and Jarod Kintz

If we estimate people's responsibility according to the time when they were left exceptionally on their own, then today's generation is a stubborn crowd of hopeless peers.

I like someone who is a little crazy but coming from a good place. I think scars are sexy because it means you made a mistake that led to a mess.

My soul is not contained within the limits of my body; my body is contained within the limitlessness of my soul.

To be stupid, and selfish, and to have good health are the three requirements for happiness.

Change what you are doing; change your world. And if enough people do that, we can change the world.

The times of Arab nationalism and unity are gone forever.

My hope is that every country in Latin America will make a significant commitment to supporting early childhood development programs.