I have always valued quiet, and the eternity of it that I face is no more dreadful than the eternity of quiet that preceded my birth.

Bad books on writing tell you to "WRITE WHAT YOU KNOW", a solemn and totally false adage that is the reason there exist so many mediocre novels about English professors contemplating adultery.

Tonight we're going to show you eight silent ways to kill a man.

Rationalism doesn't require "belief," only observation. The real, measurable world doesn't care what you believe.

The worst advice a young writer can get is "Write what you know." Imagination is more important than experience.

All experience is memory, and so everything you write about is from memory-unless you're writing about typing.

A good sign that an army has been around too long is that it starts getting top-heavy with officers.

Maybe war is an inevitable product of human nature. Maybe to get rid of war, we have to become something other than human.

There's no such thing as writing about the future. The future hasn't happened yet.

Doctors don’t seem to realize that most of us are perfectly content not having to visualize ourselves as animated bags of skin filled with obscene glop.

Big money seeks out the company of its own, for purposes of reproduction.

Magic has big sharp teeth. When it bites, it doesn't nibble. It takes big, bloody chunks. So be very, very careful.

Law and love are the same - romantic in concept but the actual practice can give you a yeast infection.

When you're comfortable, you're not necessarily inclined to care about things that are contributing to your comfort. It's difficult.

Jon Lovitz. Jon, your act is like masturbation: you're the only one who enjoys it, and you should be arrested for doing it in public.

There is no excuse for falling into delusion, which is so contrary to the Word of God.

The world is generally multivariate

Enjoy pleasures, but let them be your own, and then you will taste them.

Percy’d heard stories about amputees who had phantom pains where their missing legs and arms used to be. That’s how his mind felt—like his missing memories were aching.

One of the most powerful devices is to distort time, to go from human time to atomic time, geologic time. Sometimes you can actually accomplish that, with one unexpected word choice.

I get to do what I like to do every single day of the year.