I have always worried about things more than I should.

To Be Successful You Don't Need Beautiful Face And Heroic Body, What You Need is Skillful Mind And Ability To Perform

You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.

I'm not a naturally funny man. I find that I can only be funny, if I become someone else.

The older you get, the more you realise how happenstance... has helped to determine your path through life.

But I always feel that whatever I do, I could do better. I suppose it is perfectionism.

I want to express myself in a different way. I have a performing inclination.

I can be reasonably funny and light-hearted when I'm in the company of good friends, but I'm not a jokesmith. I tend to be quite serious.

Your services might be as useful as a barbershop on the steps of a guillotine.

Art is something that nobody laughs at and nobody makes any money out of is the attitude, which I would dispute.

The path of my life is strewn with cow pats from the devil's own satanic herd!

Once I knew what was bothering me, the greater part of my uneasiness left. Fear tends to come from ignorance. Once I knew what the problem was, it was just a problem, nothing to fear.

I understand if you choose to leave. If it means you get to live, I'd let you go. But you need to know, I won't ever regret a moment we've spent together

Secrets are truths that show what we’ve been through—what we’ve survived.

Reading a book about management isn't going to make you a good manager any more than a book about guitar will make you a good guitarist, but it can get you thinking about the most important concepts.

Well, paycheck protection is an important ingredient for a successful campaign finance reform measure.

What you think of a name depends so much on the people you know by that name.

I don't do normal. I have a reputation to uphold. (Thwonk)

If I could, I would live in Houston, and I would encourage any comic starting out looking for a good place to develop to move there.

The cell phone has become the adult's transitional object, replacing the toddler's teddy bear for comfort and a sense of belonging.

Pot enables you to think clearly without any fear or any limits. It's a mind-expander, which is part of why it's illegal and why drugs like Vicodin are legal.