I have an agreement with the houseflies. The flies don't practice law and I don't walk on the ceiling.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

If fear is cultivated it will become stronger if faith is cultivated it will achieve mastery.

Addiction struggle is believing you are separate from love. It took me a long time to glimpse that.

There was always the consolation that if I didn't like what I wrote I could throw it away or burn it.

I love pensioners. My closest relations are pensioners.

My parents always told me, 'Do what you love because that is what you will do well in.' They told me to make sure that you are happy.

We talk about taking "pleasure in a thing": but in truth it is pleasure in ourselves, mediated by a thing.

I was the one who was always scowling, downcast. I tried to make sure I looked like that when I was getting my picture taken.

Ill give you a definite maybe.

I'm really a strong advocate of ageing because the messages that the media and advertising give to women infuriate me: ie that it's a bad thing to get old.

For I can raise no money by vile means. By heaven, I had rather coin my heart, And drop my blood for drachmas