I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

The freedom of affluence opposes and contradicts the freedom of community life.

Ah, children of the sunlight and the gaslight, how little you know of the world in which you live!

While the Holy Spirit is hidden, He is never, ever absent

The difference between our decadence and the Russians' is that while theirs is brutal ours is apathetic.

I watched a lot of Douglas Fairbanks movies. He always played the same role with a mustache. Zorro had a mustache. The Musketeer had a mustache. Tarzan had a mustache.

America is today the hope of all honorable men who respect the rights of their fellow men and who believe in the principle of freedom and justice.

With or without the title, Bobby Fischer was unquestionably the greatest player of his time

The measure of our progress is not whether we add more to the abundance of those who have much, but whether, as Franklin Roosevelt said, we provide enough for those who have too little.

I'm really tired of virtue.

Prohibiting guns on campus made the Virginia Tech students less safe, not more.