I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

Pride is nothing more than us highlighting us.

Senator [George] Mitchell is a man of many talents and he's swift on his feet, but one would not think of him as 'dancing with the stars.' And we had this great rock 'n' roll fund raiser.

Life has shown me all too often that there is no rhyme or reason to the cruelty inflicted upon humanity.

America will be a country of generosity and warmth, but we will also be a country of law and order.

There is no dogma that the organ or harmonium can be used in church, but not the drum.

Everyone feels some jealousy, some anger, and some hostility. Don't feel guilty. But to allow them to become dominant expressions of your way of life is off the wall.

I've been in love. It's painful and pointless and overrated.

At the moment you are most in awe of all there is about life that you don't understand, you are closer to understanding it all than at any other time.

For movies to get greenlit solely based on the success of other movies that have a lot of women in them? It's so ridiculous to me.

No one is so cowardly that Love could not inspire him to heroism.