I have been told by hospital authorities that more copies of my works are left behind by departing patients than those of any other author.

We call ourselves a free nation, and yet we let ourselves be told what cabs we can and can't take by a man at a hotel door, simply because he has a drum major's uniform on.

Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

The free-lance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.

You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting frozen, the crocus family would have had a little sense knocked into it.

Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment.

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.

There is no such place as Budapest. Perhaps you are thinking of Bucharest, and there is no such place as Bucharest, either.

Some people would not be dead if they have not gotten the things or people they had prayed for.

Reflections they give meThat my mirror does notThey know the new meNot the old meThat I am not

So long, Lee. Give our regards to the Kaiser. And tell him there's a few boys on 58th Street who'll throw a party for him if he'll drop around.

Work means independence. It allowed me to shape my life on so many levels.

A position of eminence makes a great person greater and a small person less.

Since we're all going to die, it's obvious that when and how don't matter.

Paradoxically, in the field being a woman actually helps you: people often feel more comfortable talking to women, which is key in documentaries.

I heard of a man who had a razor made of Valyrian steel. He cut his head off trying to shave.

Change can come in either of two important ways: Start behaving positively or stop behaving negatively.

In the dark times, if you have something to hold on to, which is yourself, you'll survive.