I have emotional needs that I didn't know I had, and I have physical needs that I didn't know weren't really needs.

If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.

Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.

If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon.

Cupcakes are the tattooed brunette chick of the baked goods world.

Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.

Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.

Happiness is a carnival game. It's never as easy as it looks, but the dumb ones always seem to be walking around with a big stuffed animal.

It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.

Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.

Insecurity is like herpes. It's not going anywhere. May as well learn to laugh at it.

Education shows the path to the door of opportunity. It gives confidence and hope to open it.

It is a great joy to love and be loved.

Follow your heart, not the crowd ...

I will thank God for the day and the moment I have.

We are in a new Civil War, and just like the last, it is a struggle for the sanctity of the Union - and it's hardly civil.

Just are the ways of heaven; from Heaven proceed The woes of man: Heaven doom'd the Greeks to bleed.

The best of merchandise will go back to the shelf unless handled by a conscientious, tactful salesman.

Attachment is the root cause of all misery. Possessiveness is nourishment for the ego.

Deliverance is always found on 'the mount'; living faith must first prove to God that it has taken His word and promise for victory.

Surely, I thought, a few bushes and some dilapidated wood couldn't stop someone's best and brightest blessing! Surely not!