I have just one tube of lipstick, but it's as big as a can of hairspray.

If you want the rainbow you gotta put up with the rain.

The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.

Storms make trees take deeper roots.

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.

It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen.

If you don't like the road you're walking, start paving another one.

A peacock that rests on his feathers is just another turkey.

I'm on a seafood diet - I see food, I eat it.

I look just like the girls next door... if you happen to live next door to an amusement park.

We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails.

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

Some of my friends are not being a friend of me...

The most valuable lessons in life do not come when you are walking or running. They come when you fall down. You better take them and rise up!

Loving someone more than they love you is a sucky thing. But I’m over it.

You can quit anything on a Thursday.

When you do comedy in front of an audience, they are the ones who tell you whether it's funny or not and which bits are funny and which bits need to be fixed.

In vain shall Great Britain confer upon her colonies the free government and liberal principles of legislation, for which she is distinguished, if she do not carry with her the revelations of God.

He’d undone all he could. You can be sorry, and you can be forgiven, but you can’t call back the futures that your bad decisions lost

I guess God made Boston on a wet Sunday.

Live so as to have a quiet conscience.