I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

Achieving success is a challenge but so is struggling so you may as well choose success.

We need to remember that God is holding us in His hands, he will lead us to the light

Don't be ashamed of your ignorance, be ashamed of your unwillingness to overcome it

Just because someone does not love you as you want, it does not mean that you do not love with all his being.

To manage men one ought to have a sharp mind in a velvet sheath.

Comedy's really subjective, you know.

I've always wanted to work for Walt Disney. That's what I thought I was going to do when I grew up.

I love the finished product, but I find working in the studio a chore - I use an old-fashioned setup, so the recording process can be frustrating.

The evil that we know is best.

The weird thing about drama school is that you train for three years for one thing and then more often than not, it's something that you haven't trained for that you end up doing.