I have made many serious statements - I just can't remember any of them. I guess they mustn't have been very important.

I don't have a drink problem. But if that was the case and doctors told me I had to stop, I'd like to think that I would be brave enough to drink myself into the grave.

I have two ambitions in life: one is to drink every pub dry, the other is to sleep with every woman on earth.

I'm not a villain, I've never hurt anyone. I'm just a tawdry character who explodes now and again.

Do what you must, but do it well, above all enjoy yourself!

You get so weak from eating pears that you fall down, and then they come and take you away on a stretcher.

There is, of course, a world of difference between cricket and the movie business ... I suppose doing a love scene with Racquel Welch roughly corresponds to scoring a century be fore lunch.

I do think a carpenter needs a good hammer to bang in the nail.

If the money's right, I'll do a film.

At the New York Athletic Club they serve amazing food. People go there, get healthy, and then eat themselves to death - which is, I suppose, the right way to do it.

I like the effect drink has on me. What's the point of staying sober?

You aren’t in the ivy halls of your miserable literature pursuit now. Without wasting more time, will thou cometh to the pointeth? Dost thou wanteth us to stayeth or leaveth?

Time is lost when we have not lived a full human life time unenriched by experience creative endeavor enjoyment and suffering.

We're an amazingly adaptive and resilient species. Once we put our mind to global warming, I have no doubt we'll figure a way through here that won't lead to utter calamity.

English sense has toiled, but Hindoo wisdom never perspired.

Crowded places, I shunned them as noises too rude / And flew to the silence of sweet solitude.

Peace hath her victories, no less renowned than War.

Beware of a misfit occupation. . . . Consider carefully your natural bent, whether for business or a profession.

I think one of the dangers of humor is becoming seduced by it and sacrificing the story for a few laughs.

Keep company with the more cheerful sort of the Godly; there is no mirth like the mirth of believers.

I would rather stare at the wall for half an hour than watch an episode of any of the 53,801 Australian soap operas now cluttering up UK TV.