I have no grand scheme.

Pre-mature ejaculation. Let's talk about it. Premature ejaculation. That's a pretty fancy term for, "Ooooooh Oh no. This has never happened before."

My gym has two-pound weights. If you're using two-pound weights, how did you even open the door to the gym? What's your dream? To pump up and open your mail?

Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people 'the cops.' But you know, sometimes, you've just got no choice; those kids gotta get to school!

Let's say you're in a situation where crystal meth can help you. Like, I don't know, you have too many teeth.

Remember when you're young and you think your dad is Superman? And then you grow up and realized he's just a drunk who wears a cape.

Don't get me wrong, I like to cuddle. But there is such a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so that they can't get away.

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin.

Women have all the power because women have all the vaginas.

You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike.

You ever make fun of someone so much, you think you should thank them for all the good times you've had?

A dog has got human eyes.

If I have to question a friendship, then it wasn't a friendship to begin with.

In 30 minutes, at high noon, more than 200 civilians are killed. Zionism carries out a massacre in the city of Lydda.

Our minds sometimes see what our hearts wish were true.

We are always in transition.

Perseverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

Passion, like discriminating taste, grows on its use. You more likely act yourself into feeling than feel yourself into action.

I'm just trying to get rid of all the mystery surrounding me and let people see what I'm thinking. So they can understand me and stop assuming things about me.

The reason I'm a Yankee is that George Steinbrenner out hustled everybody else.

Editorial photography has to be energetic and visually competitive.