I have no real talents. If I could make a living at a normal job, I'm sure I would do that.

Now remember kids if anyone ever offers you drugs say 'Thank you' cause drugs are very expensive.

Stop saying you're not racist because you have a friend that's black. That's like saying you're not a pedophile because you have a friend that's a kid.

I have voices in my head, but they're all speaking Spanish, and I have NO idea what they're saying.

I'll tell you what's better than watching the sunrise... Sleeping through it.

I dated a teacher in high school. Yeah, it didn't make me cooler. And a lot of you are like 'that's cause you were homeschooled'.

Girls say it's hard to find nice guys. It's actually really easy. It's just all nice guys are ugly.

The flat-brimmed cap is the modern day dunce cap.

They say money doesn't buy happiness. That phrase should end with 'just kidding'.

Being an ugly woman is like being a man. You're gonna have to work. Yep.

I do think we can be a little less PC when it comes to sports, though. Just once I want to hear an announcer go 'God, black people are fast. Holy cow! All of them. They're fast. Back to you Bob.'

Rich Dad's Financial Statement: Income > Expense Asset > Liability

Failure is inevitable, and that the key to success is not dodging every bullet but being able to recover quickly.

Monsters exist, but they are too few in number to be truly dangerous. More dangerous are the common men, the functionaries ready to believe and to act without asking questions.

How does one get help when they have no money~ or how does one get money when they have no help?

Our rights are interconnected and inseparable. When freedom of expression is threatened, the rights to freedom of association and assembly, of thought, conscience and religion, are also compromised.

For any new technology there is always controversy and there always some fear associated with it. I think that's just the price of being first sometimes.

Every civilization that has ever existed has ultimately collapsed.

I was rooming with Jimmy Bowen at the time, doing some gigs, then I went back to New Orleans and played there in '62.

I lost agents and managers because I turned down big movies that were smutty.