I have no regrets. The best thing to happen to me was for Lorne Michaels to hire me and fire me.

There are so many different stories. You can choose to tell them, or not, but they certainly have the right to exist

Don't be snarky, but don't be saccharine. Don't pander, but don't shut people out. Go straight down the line with the performance.

I'd like to be in a tiny indie where I'm lost at sea.

I just want to work hard. I love that feeling.

I always just wanted to be a movie actress, like Lily Tomlin or Ruth Gordon. I just imagined myself being in a movie, wearing stylish women's clothing the way I saw Amy Irving wearing it.

Sometimes you watch comedians and feel like they're jerking off in front of you, but they want you to see how big it is.

I tend to be a bit of a workaholic, but I also can't function without some sort of domesticity as well.

I think my comedic style is at once bashful and explosive. It's a little bit perverted, and a little bit ladylike and old-fashioned, which is a great mix. Sort of tangy.

I'm competitive and I have a messy purse, but otherwise, I like people to think I'm a winner.

I don’t think men have time to be funny because they have to make all of our rules about what we can do with our vaginas.

Expectation is the mother of all frustration.

The greatest gift God has given me is the capacity of love for people. I have so many faults, but caring about people is not one of them.

I think I see her, please let me off this bus. Nadine, honey, is that you?

Man wants to know, and when he ceases to do so, he is no longer a man.

The big rumor going around is, we may begin bombing Iraq. Or, as the White House calls it, Operation Keep Enron Off The Front Page.

The quality of a man's mind can generally be judged by the size of his wastepaper basket.

The working class is revolutionary or it is nothing.

In the building I live in on Park Avenue there are ten people who could buy the Yankees, but none of them could hit the ball out of Yankee Stadium.

To talk about planning an economic system is to talk in old terms, and I find myself sometimes having to teach Westerners about what the market really means.

The poet's function is to make his imagination . . . become the light in the mind of others. His role, in short, is to help people to live their lives.