I have no television to go on so I get a lot of writing done. That's my substitute for television.

Our form of democracy is bribery, on the highest scale.

There's a lot to be said for being nouveau riche, and the Reagans mean to say it all.

The unfed mind devours itself.

We are the United States of Amnesia, we learn nothing because we remember nothing.

Democracy is supposed to give you the feeling of choice, like Painkiller X and Painkiller Y. But they're both just aspirin.

Write something, even if it's just a suicide note.

Persuading the people to vote against their own best interests has been the awesome genius of the American political elite from the beginning.

The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so.

You know, I've been around the ruling class all my life, and I've been quite aware of their total contempt for the people of the country.

That loyal retainer of the Chase Manhattan Bank, the American president.

It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.

No escape--like life itself.

Sorry, mom. Sorry, God.

I didn't do too much. I came here (to The Magic Castle) and learned about magic. I read a book, but not his father's book. Sorry about that.

When I was young, I loved black men.

It's a very, very rare moment when another actor hurts you. I mean, that's not normal.

I resolved to play my trumpet like a sax.

I think the clearest manifestation for anyone who doubts that racism and classism exist in America, all one need do is take a real serious objective look at our criminal justice system.

Base eight is just like base ten really, if you're missing two fingers.

I was at my most miserable when I had everything I ever wanted.