I have no time for political hacks who say things they don't believe because they get paid to.

I have no way of knowing how people really feel, but the vast majority of those I meet couldn't be nicer. Every once in a while someone barks at me. My New Year's resolution is not to bark back.

I was up late last night yapping about the elections on CNN and up early this morning doing the same thing in my daughter's kindergarten class.

The modern tribalism of the left demands that each person choose a group and then agree with everything that group agrees with. And anybody who leaves that group is stoned to death.

Canada is a sweet country. It is like your retarded cousin you see at Thanksgiving and sort of pat him on the head. You know, he's nice, but you don't take him seriously. That is Canada.

Feminism's latest victory: the right to get your limbs blown off in war. Congratulations.

Anybody who sides with Canada internationally in a debate between the U.S. and Canada, say, Belgium, is somebody whose opinion we shouldn't care about in the first place.

Unless you know a lot more about something than I do, I am not really that interested. I have too much information already.

It is nice to be around people who think differently than you. They challenge your ideas and keep you from being complacent.

It is increasingly important to be open-minded.

I will say, the one thing Mexico does well is punish prisoners. They do. They're good at that.

A study of the history of opinion is a necessary preliminary to the emancipation of the mind.

One of the great benefits of being married is always having someone to tie one's tie.

They say the level of civilization is proportionate to the degree of cleanliness of the skin. Assuming that man has a soul, it must, in all likelihood, be housed in the skin.

Fools look to tomorrow wise men use tonight.

The day I saw my mom eating the Santa cookies on the plate was one of the most horrific days of my life.

If you fall seventy times a day, rise seventy times and return to God so that you will not fall too often.

Ye rigid Ploughman! bear in mind Your labor is for future hours. Advance! spare not! nor look behind! Plough deep and straight with all your powers!

If you find my stories dirty, the society you are living in is dirty. With my stories, I only expose the truth

The presence of irony does not necessarily mean that the earnestness is excluded. Only assistant professors assume that.

I like the idea of quietly putting music out there and seeing what it does for itself, to let it take it's own life and see if people respond to it, simply because of what it is.