I have noticed that in plays where the characters on stage laugh a great deal, the people out front laugh very little.

A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table.

I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being skin deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?

Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left.

The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old.

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation.

I was always the last woman on the last down elevator as the store was closing.

Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.

Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on.

Some enterprising youth should go from door to door on Christmas morning peddling batteries.

You had this all planned, didn’t you?' I accused. 'Thought you could come in here and seduce me like you do everyone else?' It wasn’t as if I could be angry, lying atop him as I was, but I tried.

The light of our souls is never extinguished, it can never be, as the eternal one abides within each and every heart forever

The key to knowledge is the kingdom of God.

A lot of people have the misconception that I decided to become an actor when Lily became famous and have accused me of jumping on her bandwagon. But that's completely untrue.

All problems in Computer Science can be solved by another level of indirection.

[Friendships] are easy to get out of compared to love affairs, but they are not easy to get out of compared to, say, jail.

Just because you're perfectionist doesn't mean you're perfect.

When people are blessed they discover that their lives matter, that there is something in them worthy of blessing.

Men are allowed to get older and women are not.

The glossy surface of our civilization hides a real intellectual decadence.