I have often thought that the aim of port is to give you a good and durable hangover, so that during the next day you should be reminded of the splendid occasion the night before.

An Englishman, even if he is alone, forms an orderly queue of one.

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners.

The man who is not afraid of danger is not a hero, but a psychopath.

You can keep a dog: but it is the cat who keeps people, because cats find humans useful domestic animals.

In England only uneducated people show off their knowledge; nobody quotes Latin or Greek authors in the course of conversation, unless he has never read them.

Many Continentals think life is a game; the English think cricket is a game.

A dog will flatter you but you have to flatter the cat.

I asked many friends if Australian anti-intellectualism was still a living force and they all told me it was. If you are above average intelligence, hide this embarrassing fact.

The English are always ready to admire anything so long as they can queue up.

The British suffer from a most unfortunate superiority complex - unjustified even under Victoria and most certainly hopelessly out-of-date today.

Time heals. Crushes let up. Splinters work their way out. Doesn't mean they don't leave scars that itch.

The kind of crabbing my wife likes to do is to return from an afternoon's swim or sunbathing session, open the refrigerator door, and find a generous plate of crab cakes all ready to cook.

Stopping an army, isn't that something you try 300 times before you do it?

Europe is trying to get its fiscal house in order.

I have a number of writers I work with regularly. I write an outline for a book. The outlines are very specific about what each scene is supposed to accomplish.

Wine is wonderful stuff. But so many people are put off by the snobbery of it.

Real life is not like a movie. Even the best movies, the most rich, fleshed-out movies are not as rich and nuanced as detailed as real life or an actual human being.

My mother had to send me to the movies with my birth certificate, so that I wouldn't have to pay the extra fifty cents that the adults had to pay.

It is our human need - to circle back to the station of our sorrow.

I would have to say my earthy sensuality - although I should point out that the backs of my calves are exemplary and my upper inner thigh is a delight.